one less orphan
The day has arrived...
Our Adoption Announcement Letter
Those eyes. It's been weeks now and I still can't shake what I saw as I looked into the eyes of that little girl. We were minding our own business walking towards the Plaza 24 de Septiembre in downtown Santa Cruz, Bolivia in August when this little girl came running after us. I turned to look at her and her eyes caught me - I had to try to look away...
It was in her eyes that I saw tremendous hopelessness, but also a glimmer of hope that I might be able to help her. I saw the desire to care even though she has probably never been the recipient of care. In those eyes I saw tremendous hopelessness, but also a glimmer of hope that I might be able to help her. I saw the desire to care even though she has probably never been the recipient of care. In those eyes I saw the abuses she has undergone, but those eyes continued to speak of a desire to trust. It was in her eyes that I saw how much the Father loes this little girl who has nothing.
This little girl is but a pawn to help make money for her boss. But this little girl is also "one of the least" of whom Jesus loves so much. In the midst of an encounter wiht her I was undone - and still am. The image of her grabbing Christy's hand and pulling at my shirt is a hard one to shake. My heart breaks as I think of her - oh, how I wanted to help her. She desperately pleeded with us in Quechua (a native language) to give her something which we could not understand, and then she was so easily paid off with 1 Boliviano (a coin the equivalent of 12.5 cents).
This little girl is a beggar on the streets of Santa Cruz. She does not go to school, rather she spends her whole day and evening sitting wiht her mother (or someone posing as her mother) to make money to survive. It is a desperate cause. She is far from home, having traveled to Santa Cruz from Potosi (a 3 day ride by bus on dirt and gravel roads) and now living in deplorable conditions outside of the city. And if you are a child you become a great tool to try to help earn money for your family or for other families.
So, here I walk through my days, finding it hard to shake the image of that little girl. My prayer is actually that I never lose sight of her. As I hold her in sight I am constantly reminded that she is who Jesus would have hung out with. She is one who would have been open to hearing the good news He had to share with down and outers. I am also reminded that Jesus told us that when we serve the poor and destitute we are serving Him. He has empowered us to do the kingdom stuff He did (including taking the Good News to the poor in action and deed) - not to lick our wounds or to focus on building our kingdoms and making our livings. Sure, I have needs, but nothing like this little girl. Waht if God's desire is to use people like you and I to meet these needs (it would seem from reading the Bible that that is true - we are the rich, by comparison after all). God, may that little girl's eyes always be imprinted in my mind - and may You care for her.
Yesterday we took another trip...one which provided a stark contrast. My brother gave us free tickets for Dutch Wonderland, so we took our kids there for the day to reconnect and spend some family time. It really was a very fun day - we had a blast! But occasionally that little girl's eyes would return to my mind, and tension would grip me. We were surrounded by thousands of families who had all paid $36.95 per adult and $24.95 per child to spend a day together (not to mention food, cotton candy (not truly considered food), kettle corn, cakes, etc.). What great fun Dutch Wonderland is! We loved it! So, why was the image of the little girl still ingrained in my mind? Why did I leave with a bit of distaste in my mouth as to how we (yes I definitely include myself) spend our money?
Could it be that God is continuing to expand my heart and help me look beyond my own needs and desires? Could it be that He is reminding me that responding to His Call always involves me moving outside of my desires for comfort and provision to refocus on His kingdom and risking in partnering with Him to see HIS Kingdom come in more fullness? Could it be that He is simply answering a long term prayer of mine - "Father, break my heart with the things that break Yours"? It is a prayer to be prayed at your own risk. Because, when He answers it - you may find yourself undone. But isn't coming to the place of being undone what He truly looks for from us, anyway? As Paul writes what God speaks to him as he please for Him to remove something that is tormenting Him (which is described as a thorn in the flesh) in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." Oh, God, we are undone and weak...make Your power known.
-taken from an enewsletter Jerry wrote to our church about a month after our trip to Bolivia.
That little girl came up from behind and took my hand. I, too, had to look away, but after only seconds of seeing her eyes, they are branded and emblazoned on my heart forever. The desperation I felt as I called to our friends repeatedly to interpret for me was overwhelming. She was pleading...I had no idea what for or how to help her. As the seconds sped past at a snail's pace, I became more and more desperate to help this little girl. And those eyes...windows to the soul they say, and I agree. Finally, my friends heard me calling, gave her a coin, and she was gone. Just like that...vanished. And I was rattled. I cried in the taxi all the way home. So shaken, yet not knowing why. Why couldn't I shake those little girl's eyes?
I knew the answer soon after we were home. There was a little girl out there somewhere that we were to "rescue", but that would rescue us too. Just as this little beggar girl had rescued us from the status quo of the humdrum and chaos we call life and left us changed, there was a little girl out there that needed us, but would give us far more and leave us far more changed that we could ever hope to give to her. International adoption had been on our hearts as a couple for years, but for "someday". On that day in August on a city street in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, "someday" arrived.
We threw it around, talked about it, and put it on the back burner. In the mean time, on 2 ver distinct separate occasions, I began to think about a new "her" (the one that could be my daughter) and found myself in a puddle of tears, heart breaking, just as desparate to do something as that day in Bolivia. Then, on the day before Thanksgiving, Jerry turned to me and said, "I'm ready. I think we should look into adoption." My heart leapt! Oh, what a thing to be thankful for that Thanksgiving!!! We would begin the journey to bring our daughter home!
Why? some, if not many, have asked. You have 3 beautiful kids-have even got the girl thing and the boy thing covered- your plate (and life) is full! That's exactly it. Our plate is full. Hers is not. She has no one to brag about her. No one ot stand by her through thick and thin. No one to love her unconditionally. No one to call her own. We all know families aren't perfect, but can you imagine NOT having one? I can't. But she can. Because she is living it. We may not make a lot of money or have the nicest house or drive the nicest car or have all the latest things, but we have enought to share. Something we all learned in Kindergarten...but the stakes are higher and the impact greater as we become adults as to what our sharing can mean.
Our family has started on the great adventure of bringing home a little girl from an orphanage far away. The journey had been a rollercoaster so far, and we haven't even started the international paperwork yet! But I know it will all be worth it...all the frustration, all the tears, all the unanswered questions, all the injustices...they will all be just a wrinkle in history when we bring her home. And we wanted to invite you in on the journey. Not everyone is able to bring a child into their home and call them their own. But, together we can walk this road, bring a child home to her forever family, and know that there is one less orphan in our world. To us, that's a journey worth taking!
How can you journey with us? If you are so inclined, you can pray. We know that God moves mountains, and he can do what's necessary to bring this little one home. Pray for the mountains of paperwork, pray for the Immigration Officer who will decide if we are fit to adopt or not, pray for our social worker who will aid us in getting a referral, pray for stability and speed in the foreign government that will be processing our paperwork. Most of all, pray for our little girl - for her health, her protection, her nurturing, her caretakers, and pray for her birthmother.
If you want to be a part of bringing this little girl home, you can also support this journey financially. As you've all heard, international adoption is not cheap. The total cost is about $30-35,000. And we need to have most of it up front to proceed. This is no small undertaking, but we have seen people band together to make something possible that for one person would be impossible. Maybe you feel like this is something you'd like to invest in.
You can follow our journey at a website we've created to document it all (www.OneLessOrphan.freeservers.com). You can read about our financial progress, the mountains of paperwork, the dealings with foreign governements, the joy of receiveing a referral, and all of our travel plans to go bring out daughter home. And you can prepare, as our friends and family, to welcome this little one home. What a glorious day that will be!!!
The older we get and the more we travel and the more we learn, we see that ours is a world full of injustices. Despite our frustrations, we can't right them all. But we can start with a single step towards righting one. Care to take a step too?
Those eyes...so easily bought off by 12.5 cents...left us undone. I'm thankful. May we never pull it together. May we never get back to our "right minds". And may you be blessed with an experience that leaves you questioning, spinning, willing to step out and risk...undone.
Some day soon, I hope to have a picture of a little girl with eyes that will keep us undone for the rest of our lives. I'll share it with you as soon as we get it.
Undone by one little girl's eyes and the prospect of another's,
Jerry & Christy